Dear Tess
My boyfriend started body building a few months ago. At first he used to go to the gym about 2 -3 times a week. He has recently met another man with whom he has started training. I think this other guy is obsessed. My boyfriend is now training 6 times per week for up to 2hrs, and he is constantly at the gym. When he is not, he is constantly planning his (meagre and boring) diet. I know he recently had his body fat measured and it was only 6% - surely this is dangerous? I am also worried as I think he might have started taking steroids. He is so moody and difficult all the time. I hardly see him and when I do I get the impression he would rather be at the gym. I used to love his honed and toned body - but now I think I am beginning to resent it. I want things back to how they were. Please help.
Enjoying fitness and health is a wonderful thing, and of course the benefits are well documented. You say your boyfriend's training partner is obsessed - but it sounds as if your boyfriend is also obsessed. And here is the problem - obsession with anything can destroy what is beneficial. It is not healthy to deprive the body of a varied, nutritious healthy diet. It is not healthy to allow the body to become dangerously dehydrated (to make the muscles 'stand out'); this puts a huge strain on the liver. It is also unhealthy to keep body fat levels so low. The average man has body fat levels of 16 - 18%. You said your boyfriend's is currently at 6%. This will take its toll on his body. Super strict dieting, removing entire food groups from the diet and reducing calories drastically could create nutrient deficiencies, which can affect the immune system. Recent statistics state that 40% of binge eaters and a quarter of anorexia and bulimia sufferers are men. Talk to your man! Is he having a 'crisis of masculinity'? It sounds as if his self esteem could have taken a knock and he is feeling fragile. Have you thought about going to the gym with him? Reassure him that whilst you love his 'new look' - your relationship is suffering because you see so little of him. You say you think he might be using steroids. These also pose serious consequences for his health. He needs to be absolutely sure he is aware of the consequences of using such powerful drugs (and illegal if he is found to be supplying them). You must support him in understanding everything that he stands to lose, for potentially superficial and unhealthy gains.
Yours,
Tess